Friday, January 8, 2010
Required comment for 1/25: Sex in the dorm
Read this article on universities officially banning sex in the dorm when a roommate is present. Are student brains not "formed enough" to make good judgment with regard to this issue? How should sex in the dorms when a roommate is present be handled? Does the university have a role?
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i believe that this kind of thing will happen regardless of the rules in place. I dont see what kind of judgement call it takes to decide weather or no to have sex in the room, particularly in instances where alcohol is involved. College students have sex, just like college students drink and smoke, it the reality of being exposed to a totally free environment for the first time. as long as the roommates keep to the code (sock on the door, Clean up after, no screaming etc..)there wont be a problem. Keep the university out of the bedroom!
ReplyDeletex Jacob Schweit
I am in concurrence with Jacob. These things will happen regardless of rules and regulations. I believe that the best way to solve the issue is to communicate and find a solution with roommate. People need to grow up sometime and this event helps them to take on more responsibility and helps develop their communication skills.
ReplyDeleteJoey Guikema
I think that there are better and possibly more efficient ways to keep peace between roommates rather than bringing in the University. These students are usually 18 or older and are legally adults, they have a right to make "bad decisions" if they so choose. I believe that learning from experience is something we should allow them to do. But I also think that maybe the University should have each set of roommates write out a contractual agreement so that these issues can be handled differently and open communication can be instilled.
ReplyDeleteCaitlyn Parrish
to caity,
ReplyDeleteregarding a contract, thats what we do here at WIU. and then if there is some disagreement the roomates, can go to the RA and consult the contract, and if necessary the issue can be resolved in that manner.
@ emmy
we are responsible adults, and as adults we do make good and bad choices, but this isn't so much about the choices but about the impact that they have on a third party.
Jacob Schweit
I personally think jacob is right there can always be a way to fix any problems you have with your roommate. Also we are adults and make our own choices but I think this situation has a higher level of a respect issue than anything. If you have a roommate and they are around or ask you specific things dont do them, like have sex while they are in the room, that is just common sense and a form of respect.
ReplyDeleteI think roommates should give each other a notice before they engage in their extra curricular activities. Since both people are paying for a room they should share it equally. They should always show common courtesy to each other with these types of situations. I think it wouldn’t be morally right if you are engaging in sex infront of your roommate unless all three of you have some sort of fetish for it. I think that would just be awkward. I think if you are in college roommates should be mature enough with each other and work out the situation.
ReplyDelete-Jason Renacido
I do not feel that it is Tuft's University's place to make the decision as to whether or not sex in the dorm can be banned. It almost seems to me as though the university is taking a parental role in the students' lives which is not their responsibility. If sex while a roommate is occurring, then the roommate should take responsibility for themselves and tell the other roommate that this needs to end. Dealing with situations such as this and confronting other people is a part of growing up. There is also no reason why "sexiling" should be banned. It is their room too, and they should be able to have their privacy from time to time. If the other roomate doesn't want to leave, then the room isn't being shared equally.
ReplyDelete-Angie Marini
I believe that the roommate that is having sex should be open to their roommate’s desires and wishes. It all comes down to respect for one another. If there is no respect why would someone want to live with that person? I believe that the university should play a role in this if the issue if it becomes severe, such as it was happening more than 3 times a week and the roommate has tried to talk to them about it however; nothing has changed. The RA’s are also a GREAT help, seeing that they do not pick sides they just want the peace to be kept, if all the fails then I believe that the university should take charge in resolving this matter, whether it being a fine, or even making the defiant roommate pay for a single. Just about everyone has had or will have a roommate problem that is just life. As a college student this matter should be resolved with maturity and personal preferences being mixed together to find a reasonable answer.
ReplyDelete-Kara Burroughs
I think consideration should be given to both roommates equally. If there are problems between the roomates, they should maturely talk and decide on the things that should and should not be occuring in the room. Both should remember that they are paying the same amount for the room. I personally do not think the university will be able to effectively ban sex in the dorms, though. I think it is an issue roommates will have to discuss and agree on a conclusion themselves.
ReplyDelete-Laura Curtin
I agree with everyone up to this point that I don't really think that it is the university's place to step in on this issue. I can understand where they are coming from but, in my opinion, this approach definitely has its faults. For example, if the rule was implemented, it could give rise to several problem-causing scenarios. First off, if one roommate disliked the other a lot, they could use this against them to get them kicked out of the room. If one claims that sex occurred when they were present, it pits one roommates word against the other. In this situation, I think it would be very hard to reach a verdict. On the other hand, if sex actually did occur when the roommate was present, it could be very hard to prove it to someone of authority. In the end, I think that the responsibility should be put on the students to handle situations such as this that may arise with respect, understanding, and good communication.
ReplyDeleteSorry but I forgot to attach my name to my comment above.
ReplyDelete-Chad Altfillisch
Mistakes help one grow, and are good if you're being safe. It won't make a difference if universities have an official policy.
ReplyDeleteJane Doe
I think it is important that roommates keep a open communication about “sexiled” I would hope that being in college a person would have at least achieve some respect for other people’s privacy, But that is not always the case. Lying in your room while your room mate is having sex is very uncomfortable! I think the College steeping in is a good idea. College is a meant for all people and they should feel like it’s a safe place, and in order to be safe you need to have privacy. And without privacy a college can get a bad reputation, I think to avoid these awkward situations I think the roommates should give a sign or heads up, so that the other person can make plans to avoid the situation. We all make decisions and weather right or wrong we learn from them.
ReplyDelete^^^ that's me Kathryn Turner
ReplyDeleteI believe that the school making a rule will help, in some cases. For the most part students are going to do what they want. Rules that have been made now are broken like its nothing. Consequences are there and the students realize that but most could careless. One example of this is drinking in the dorm rooms. Students do it all the time, get written up for it and thats the end of it. They suffer the consequences because they arent too severe. Depending on the consequences will decide how the student react. I would think someone in there right mind wouldn't partake in sex while another person was present, thats just commonsense. It's supposed to be a private thing, atleast that what I believe.
ReplyDeleteKayla O'Neill
I think there is a better way to deal with this issue. Having an intercourse with a roommate present is not a good idea, but i think there can be an open discussion between room mates, whereby each one will have some alone time with their partners without interfering with the others privacy or plans. The universities ban will not be any good.
ReplyDeleteSandra Odei
I said this earlier today in class, but I believe that making the students confront the issue right way is a great way to solve this problem. At the beginning of the semester you make the roomates sign a contract on this issue, then the two students will be able to see how each of them feels about the sex while the other person is in the dorm room. Also, honesty is the best problem solver, just ask your roomate for the night alone in the room and have sex all you like..
ReplyDeleteJoe Womack
In my opinion, I dont see why anyone would want to have sex with a roommate present. I also dont think making this policy will stop it for those who do have sex with a roomate present. There are many policies already made for dorm living that are not followed and this will just be another one. I belive this issue should be delt with between roomates. Everyone in college should be mature enough and and have enough respect for others to handle this on there own with out the school getting involved. This article says that at 18 your brain isnt developed enough to make the decision to have sex. If this is the case shouldnt it be illigal inside and outside of dorms just like alochol? I think this policy is pointless and will not have an effect on dorm living.
ReplyDeleteMelissa Stienberg.
I think that it shouldn't be the school's decision wether or not they want to ban sex while the roommate is present. This is more of an agreement between roommates. Like some people might be into being in the room while other people are doing things, creepy but true. Other people don't feel comfortable with it.
ReplyDelete-Montserat Perez
I don't agree with this being the school's decision because the students are the one's who have to atually live in the dorms, so it should be there decisions. Everyone is supposed to be groen in college so I believe they student's should be able to come up with a way to compromise when one of the roommates are tyring to interact with their partner. It's about respect and understanding!
ReplyDelete*Kendra Owens*
i meant actually*, grown* and trying*
ReplyDelete-Kendra Owens
I agree with Melissa. I believe that students should not want to have sex in the dorms while their roommates are present because that's a way o showing disrespect. I do think that anyone should be able to have sex in the dorms with their own privacy because students in College are considered to be grown so they should be able to have sex whenever they want to. I believe they should enforce the ban use of sex in dorms for good reasons and not bad ones, They should use it on people who don't use any privacy and not to kick students out the school because they are having sex. Students pay so much to live in their dorms so why should they get kick out or dumb purposes.
ReplyDeleteNyles Wortham
i think student shouldn't have sex in the dorms while their roomate is present beacuse i feel it's disrespectful to them. if they chose to have sex they need to agree with their roommate if its ok. i think if their going to have sex they need to have a single or get a hotel room. as far as it being a university policy not tohave sex. college student are going to do it reagrdless. student pay for their room so their entitled freedom.- altagrace jean-francois
ReplyDeleteOverall, I believe this rule is going to have little effect with the students attending any university in which this policy is instated. Some roommates will come to an agreement on this policy; however, there are roommates that won't agree. Some people truly don't care about other people lifestyles. An if fact, I have already dealt with this issue and its an uncomfortable situation sometimes especially if you are friends with your roommate prior to coming to college. Sometimes it seems as though no matter what rules you put into place they are going to be broken.
ReplyDeleteKelsey Michelini
I don't think that students should have sex in the dorms when there roommate is present because I think it is disrespectful. I have know roommates where the other roommate does not care and does not mind being in the room while her roommate has sex. I think it depends on the people. I also think that college students when they have been drinking alcohol do not have as good as judgement as when they are sober so when you are drunk and want to have sex, it will most likley happen without asking their roommate if it is ok or if they can go somewhere else. So, I do not think it should be the schools decision if people are having sex in the dorms, it should be an agreement between the roommates.
ReplyDelete-Taylor Murphy
I feel that college students are going to do whatever they want regardless of the rules. I mean by now we should have enough respect for others. If you were to just talk to your roommate and say hey can you leave the room for a couple of hours because my boyfriend and I want to have sex, then most likely if you talk to your roommate about it then they are going to be okay with it. Now having sex while your roommate is in the room is kind of disrespectful. Just ask your roommate to leave and I am sure that they are willing to leave. I think that as roommates you guys will have to come to an agreement about these kind of things.
ReplyDelete-Tara Rednour
I feel the method the university took to address the issue wasn't perhaps the best way to handle the problem, but definitely the best way to keep lawsuits from happening. Official policy upholds in court even if it's never followed or actively enforced. What would be a better actual solution would be to include in freshman orientation a sort of 'introduction to living with someone else'. And of course, encourage room mates to discuss things like sex in the room with one another before it even happens. If roommate A says it's okay, and B says no, then they can find some other alternatives that makes both parties happy BEFORE things get out of hand, and before it's particularly uncomfortable...like right after it happens.
ReplyDeleteBenjamin Barnes
At the college level, student should have enough common sense and respect for other people to know not to have sex in their dorm room when their roommate is present, it shouldn't have to take a policy made up by the university to stop that from happening. Personally, I highly doubt that the policy will work. This is something the roommates should try to agree upon themselves, considering they should be mature enough by now to make decisions like that. The university should just leave this decision up to the students, instead of just making the decision for them.
ReplyDeleteEmily Eyler
The school has every right to ban sex in the dorm while a roommate is present. The university owns that room and can set whatever rules for it they feel are needed. However, just because rules are set in place doesn't mean that they will be followed. It will always be up to the roommate whether or not to report such an injunction, and some of the time it will probably go unreported.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe it matters if a brain is more or less developed at age 18, it's just that the values of the 18 year olds aren't the same as the older administrators of the university. Morals change with time. Generally newer generations are more tolerant of sexual behaviors than older ones.
I don't really understand exactly why students would have sex with a roommate present in the first place. In my opinion, if I were dating a girl, and she agreed to have sex with me with my roommate present, I would probably rethink my choice regarding dating her. She obviously has little self respect. Anyway, I think WIU's roommate contracts are the way to go. If there is open communication between the roommates, there wouldn't be a need for the university to get involved.
-Emily Janas
I think, because we are old enough to make our own descions, there should not be a rule. We are old enough to respect someone else's privacy. Most people do not just start having sex while their friend is in the room, and if someone can not respect someone else and totally disregard them and how uncomfortable they may feel then that person should not have a roommate. I think the only time sex in the dorms is a problem is when it is during the day and you just need to get something out of your room but you are unable to because your roomate is having sex.
ReplyDeleteKimberly Matejka
I personally believe that sex in a dorm room while a roommate is present,is one of the most lowest things a person could do. I know that people do make mistakes and could have forgotten to warn their roommate ahead of time but most often then not, the girl or guy definitely has an idea of what activites might lay ahead. Whether that means drinking (losing control) or preplanning.This is why I believe that the University should get involved with a policy. I know that there are some people who will continue to do it anyway but when a rule is set, consequences are going to be enforced. I think that if the girl or guy is giving that much disrespect toward their roommate, then the roommate has the right to turn them in and get better privacy.
ReplyDelete- Megan Salvatori
I dont believe that its Tuft University's decision to say someone can or cannot have sex when a roommate is present. I think by the time we go to college we should be old enough to know how to respect each other. I think the roommates should be able to learn to work things out on their own. Then if a problem can not be worked out then the school should step in. But students should learn from mistakes and learn how to grow up on their own and not have the school set more rules that will most likely not stop people from doing something.
ReplyDeleteAmanda DeBates
I really don't think that a university should ever have to make the rule about not having sex when a roommate is present. I mean come on we are all adults and we should all know that it is completly innapropriate to be having sex while your roommate is in the room. I also don't really think that the university could really do anything about it, it's going to happen either way. I think that it needs to be worked out between roommates so that they can each have their privacy. I think that things like this need to be taken care of as roommates and adults and not by the university.
ReplyDelete-Bailey Strand
I personally don't believe the Tuft University's ban on having sex in the dorm room while the roommate is present will do anything. This just helps prevent communication between roommates and doesn't allow students to grow up. The university should not be allowed to dictate what their students do while in their rooms; its an invasion of privacy. This ban might have been put in place to help prevent students from making poor decisions, but that's not the university's job. Most students are 18 years or older and go to college to earn an education, but thats not always an academic one. The students will learn from their mistakes, but if they're not allowed to make any then they wont learn. Having sex with your roommate present is disrespectful and rude, but this discussion should take place between roommates without the university's input.
ReplyDeleteJackie Golevicz
I don't no what else I can say that has already been said. It is going to happen one way or another. And were all adults we should be able to come up with some compromise, and if that doesn't work then just get a single. The University should have no say on this matter, students are well aware of what they are doing and can handle it themselves.
ReplyDeleteMark Gretzinger
I think that Tuft University should engage in the problem of sex in a dorm room while a roommate is present, because each person should be courteous of their roommate's privacy. I believe that if a policy is set in place then it will make the couple think twice before doing something very inappropriate and rude. I know that it might not always stop them, but it might make them think otherwise...
ReplyDeleteSorry this is me ^^^- Michele Salvatori
ReplyDeleteI agree with most of the other comments in saying that it should not be the university's role to control this situation. The roomates should be able to communicate about these things. Also, I think its a matter of respect. If your roomate is in the room, you should respect their privacy. By letting students handle this on their own, it will teach other life lessons.
ReplyDelete-alexa arent
I also agree with most of the other comments. I think in college we are mature enough now to know what respect is and privacy. Roommates should be able to openly discuss with eachother there opinions or feelings on a situation.The university can't fully control what is going on in everyones dorm room at all times. This may be banned but the rule will most likely be broken very often.
ReplyDelete-Alex Figura
After reading the article, i stongly agree with Erin Elias when she says, "the root of this ban should focus on roommate communication rather than just banning the activities that cause problems between roommates". I think with the proper communication between roommates, the policy is not needed. If the issue of having sex and times when it is acceptable is discussed, there shouldn't be a problem. This is a personal decision that the school should not interfere with.
ReplyDelete-Keri Plica
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAlthough some would not agree with the official ban of sex in a dorm room while a roommate is present, it appears that this may be one of the only ways to combat disrespectful students at Tufts University. I do however agree more with Erin Elias's statement that these rules being put into place should focus more on "roommate communication" in general. If there are issues such as sex in the dorm room while a roommate is present, there are certainly other issues at hand that are not being communicated between these students. As an adult, students should have the ability to develop necessary communication skills with other individuals, and it should not necessarily be the responsibility of a University to instill such rules. Conflicts among roomates will surely always exist among students.
ReplyDelete-Carmen Nunez
After reading this article about Tuft University Banning Sex in the dorm while a room mate is present, doesnt really seem like a realistic rule to me. Even though the school has a right to make rules such as that, but in reality even banning it is not going to stop students from having sex in the dorm, i think they are going to do it either way. Students at a college level should be able to make their own descions when it comes to a personal matter such as this and should take on the responsibility of discussing it with their room mate if a problem does form from it.
ReplyDelete-Kelley Walsh
On whether sex should be allowed in the dorm with a roommate present should be an issue that should be settled between roommates. In college were all adults so lets be adults about it and let the roommates decide if they would allow sex in there dorm. Roommates should come to an agreement with each other and communicate this issue.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the above comments. I think that college students regardless of rules and regulations will engage in their activities as they please. But, I think that the roommates should be grown about the situation and if one of them wants to engage in some sexual activity, they should talk it out with their roommate and come to an understanding. This issue should be dealt amongst the roommates and those involved not administration. Kristine Tume
ReplyDeleteI believe that there should be policies that ban students from having sex in the dorms when their roommates are present. I don't think this will stop them from doing so, but it'll make them think twice about it and if it's really worth it.
ReplyDelete-Susana Campos
I agree with a lot of people. I do feel that even if there was a policy to ban students from having sex while the roommate is present, it won't stop them from doing it. They could just ask their roommate to leave or something like that. Roommates should talk about this before doing it. I think if you have a close bond with your roommate that you would be able to talk to them about having sex in the room. I don't agree with having sex while roommate is present just to get rid of them. That is rude! If someone is having problems with their roommate they should ask to switch rooms or do something other than having sex while they are present.
ReplyDelete- Ashley Gabelmann
I think it is interesting that a university felt it necessary to devise such a "rule" for it's resident students. It seems to me that not having sex while your roomate is present falls under the category of common sense, or just human decency. I appreciate that sex is natural and normal, but it is intended to be a private interaction. Private for those engaged, and private from those not directly involved. I am not convinced that any regulations will impact the number of students that have sex when their roomate is present. It appears that in those situations they fail to even observe common social courtesies... It isn't fair to the roomate, or really to their partner or themselves for that matter.
ReplyDeleteAmy Caldwell
Sex in dorm room is and issuse but not as big as a issuse as they make it to be. Sex is a nautral act. We are just need to be alittle bit more mature about are actions.
ReplyDeleteAndrew Schaad
I feel that it isn't the university's decision on whether you can have sex or not in your own room. You should respect yourself and your roommate enough to work something out. If you wanted to have someone come over and spend time with them, them just your roommate know and ask if they wouldn't mind leaving the room for a little while. Another possibility is working out a plan for IF you do have someone over to put something on the room so that they are aware. I feel the way that WIU does this is a much more effective way. We just have to sign a contract with our roommates.
ReplyDeleteAllysa Lybarger
My question to this is: who is going to enforce this? I think that everyone makes mistakes, but agree that the room mates should be having these types of conversations. But, like I said before, who is going to enforce this new rule? I mean, yes, it is very rude to do "it" while your room mate is right there, but are the RA's on duty supposed to know on the door of a room where residents are having sex to ask if the other room mate is present? I think it is unnecessary for this rule. Students need to learn how to speak and communicate to their room mate. Period.
ReplyDeleteWhen talking about having sex in dorms, roommates should have already discussed what would happen if this does occur because this is not rare. Roommates should be respectful enough to leave out the room while their roommate wants their personal time. On the other hand, the roommate who wants to have sex should be respectful enough to know that they shouldn't let everyone hear them having sex. Even if this is enforced, no one is really going to know that people in the rooms are having sex which means there is no real way to stop it.
ReplyDeleteJulia Henderson