“Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted.” Albert Einstein

Monday, March 8, 2010

Required for 3/21: Ask Professor Foxy: Will Masturbation Ruin Me For Sex With Others?

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Ask Professor Foxy: Will Masturbation Ruin Me For Sex With Others?

In your comment, consider how women can benefit from masturbation. According to Prof. Foxy, how does masturbation contrast with partner sex?

40 comments:

  1. In my opinion, I don't think masturbating with ruin sex with others. If anything it will make it better. Like Professor Foxy said, this way you know what you like and you can communicate that with your partner. The comment made by the woman's friend was pretty irrelevant in my opinion and probably just put wrong idea in her head about the situation.
    If that's how this woman wants to live her life, then that's fine. As long as she's happy with it, then whatever.

    Emily Eyler

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  2. I have never thought of masturbating as a way to ruin having sex with another person. I think that people should be able to live their life how they feel comfortable living it. I also think the opinion on this subject will vary from person to person. Basically, I think the comment made by the woman's friend should not be considered by the woman because everybody has a different opinion.

    -Laura Curtin

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  3. I dont think masturbating is a way to ruin having sex with a partner. Like Professor Foxy said it would help you understand your body better and could make sex better with a partner. I think masturbating is just a way for you to find our more about your body and what you like and sex is having the intimate feeling with another person.Overall, I think its up to the person to what they want to do and that ever person views this topic differently. But I really don't think masturbating will ruin sex with another partner.

    Amanda DeBates

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  4. I also do not think that masturbation could ruin sex with another partner. Like Professor Foxy said by masturbating you know what you like and what feels good to you, so you would be able to communicate that to your partner. I do not think it should be more acceptable for men or women. It is there choice if they would like to do so and I do not think that it is wrong. Masturbating could make sex better for both partners because they know what they want. As long as both partners canbe open and tell eachother what they like, then they will be happy. I don't think masturbation can ruin sex with a partner.
    -Bailey Strand

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  5. I am going back and forth on how I feel about this article. I can see where the male friend is coming from. For example, if the woman has been masturbating the same way for 15 years she may not be able to orgasm when it does come time for her to have a partner. I have read stories before where men and women have used one technique in masturbating for so long that they literally can't orgasm any other way. I think that this may be what he means when saying she is ruining herself for sex with another person.

    Like others have said, masturbation is going to allow a women to get to know herself better and she can become more aware of her body whereas a partner will allow for intimacy. Most women do not masturbate, they just assume that they need a partner to have that orgasmic feeling. She may be doing herself some good too, with the increasing numbers of sexual transmitted infections. Overall, I found this article to be interesting and look forward to the future comments.
    Caitlyn Parrish

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  6. I believe masturbation can ruin sex with a partner, but it's not something that should be expected. It all depends on how willing the person is to accept change when they are with a partner. I believe it is okay for people to get to know their own body, and it is up to them to decide whether they want change or not.
    -Susana Campos

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  7. I dont think that masterbation will ruin sex with a partner. I have never heard that before for a women or men. Its a womens choice to masterbate and if that ends up ruining sex then that is thier fault because they are not open for new things.
    Melissa Steinberg.

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  8. I feel that masturbation can ruin sex with a partner. I feel like that feeling should be left to experiences with that partner she chooses. it lowers the emotional and physical feeling between a man and women.
    Kathryn Turner

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  9. I don't think that masturbation would ruin sex at all. Like Professor Fox said, you get to know your body. So therefore, you as a person knows what makes you feel good or doesn't. If anything it should increase the pleasure of sex because it opens more doors, such as new ways of foreplay and such. This benefits for both partners because they're learning each others bodies. This makes it easier to communicate with each other.

    Montserat Perez

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  10. Personally I don't think masturbation is harmful to a sexual relationship. The way I see it, people are naturally curious about their bodies and if masturbation results from this curiosity then so be it. Like Professor Foxy said you know what feels good so why not have a little practice with yourself so you can tell your partner what you like and make the experience better for the both of you. In a way its kind of like a couple going out to eat, both people know what they want to eat so why don't they just let the other person know thus resulting in deliciousness for everyone lol.

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  11. Ps, everyday average joe's name is Joe Womack, sorry I forgot to put my name again.

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  12. Thanks for these comments. It gives me a sense that you all are experts about your own bodies, which is a good thing.

    A couple of things I thought about:

    Would anyone ever say to a MAN that he shouldn't masturbate because it would ruin sex for him with others?

    And, some women simply don't have orgasms at all--others, whether or not they masturbate, don't have orgasms from intercourse. What, if anything, does this mean?

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  13. OK WELL FIRST OFF LOL I'D LIKE TO SAY SEX IN ANY FORM IS A GREAT EXPERIENCE IF YOU HAVE IT WIT SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT INCLUING YOURSELF. MASTURBATION DOESN'T MAKE SEX WITH OTHERS BAD. IT ACTUALLY INHANCES THE SEX AND THEY PLEASURE. CREATES MORE PASSION AND YOU LEARN WHAT YOU AND THEY OTHER PERSON WANTS AND NEEDS. HELPS TO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU/THEY DO OR DONT LIKE. MASTURBATION CONTRASTWITH SEX FIRST OFF BECAUSE IT IS A FORM OF SEX. AS WELL AS, AS I STATED PREVIOUSLY, IT HELPS LEARN MORE!...to answer the above question from Dr. Holly., someone may say it, but i think its a lie. and the statement just means not all women reach that extra climax and/or the right man to help get them there, but it could be no prob. and the woman just doesnt reach it.

    -KENDRA OWENS-

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  14. I personally don't think masturbation would ruin a person's sexual relationship with their partner. As everybody else has said, it allows you to get to know what you like and don't like and you can communicate that with your partner. A man/woman can get more comfortable with themselves and more confident, which can lead to an even better sex life. I think masturbation is more personal than partner sex, cause obviously you are by yourself and you don't have to worry about pleasing somebody else. If a person chooses to just masturbate and not have partner sex, then that's their choice. If a person decides to do both, then they should be open to new things and should be willing to listen to their partner. Hey, to each his own.

    Jacqueline Golevicz

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  15. I don't think that masturbation would ruin a person's sex life with a partner simply because maybe a person just wants to please theirself while their partner is not around. In a way, it could possibly make their sex better. Each person has their own way of being pleased and only them knows exactly how to please theirself. I think people masturbate just for the experience, but it's nothing wrong with it. People do what makes them feel comfortable.
    -Toykia Meeks

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  16. I agree with a lot of the people who said they don't think masturbation would ruin a person's sexual relationship with a partner. I think that some people need to find out what they like and enjoy, and can then communicate with their partner. By communicating with partners, I think it can lead to a better sex life, knowing what each person likes and dislikes.

    -Jennifer Berg

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  17. I think that masturbation does ruin sex between two partners. I believe that sex is something that is reserved for a man and wife and should be done by yourself or with another until marriage. I find that people should control their lust and their self urges for instant gratification and hold off until marriage. Also even though many people say it is not possible, it is as long as you have discipline.

    Joey Guikema

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  18. I do not believe masturbation will ruin sex with others. If anything, it will allow women to let their partner know what they like and don’t like so they can avoid an uncomfortable and unsatisfying experience. Masturbation is especially important because some women cannot reach orgasm from intercourse alone. Masturbation is also a great way to avoid STDs if someone chooses not to be sexually active with another person like the woman in the article. I also feel that since female masturbation is so taboo that that is part of the reason why her male friend had such a reaction. It’s not like the woman in the article was telling him not to masturbate because he should save that for his partner.
    -Angie Marini

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  19. I think Professor Foxy is correct when they say that masturbation is actually beneficial to a woman. It will help them become more aware of what feels good for them, sexually, and they can relay that information to their partners. I think that a male would not be told me forbid masturbation because it would ruin sex with a woman. It is a double standard that masturbation is more accepted by men than it is to women.

    -Keri Plica

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  20. When looking at the question that Dr. Stovall posted about would people tell men to stop in order to better their sex lives. Just because people naturally think of masturbation as having to deal with men and their pleasures. Is it wrong if a women wants to experience the same pleasure if she doesn't want to have the commitment or the worries of sex with their partner. Having sex is a big step in a committed relationship. So overall, I don't think that masturbation will ruin sex with a partner once they get to that point.

    Kelsey Michelini

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  21. Some people may think that masturbating will ruin future sex with a partner; however, I feel that this depends on the feelings of the person doing it. I think a person could masturbate without having an effect. Yet with another person, it may change their feelings. Masturbating and sexual intercouse produce different feelings. A benefit of masturbating is knowing what you like and what feels good for you. Furthermore, this could improve your sex with your partner with good communication.

    -alexa arent

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  22. Masturbation doesn't ruin future sex because like the doctor said, the feeling and connection is much different because it is a real person instead of toys. Also, the orgasms and the overall experience would be different than toys. To answer your question, no I don't think anyone ever asks men this same question. In our culture, men are supposed to want sex and be horny, etc. But women are supposed to conduct ourselves in a matter which never sends off the message that we need sex. On the other hand, if this person that is pleasing herself finds a significant other to finally have sex with and it's not what she expected, then she probably won't want to have sex because she thinks that she is doing it well herself.

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  23. Well I think that masturbation doesn't conflict with or interfere with anyone who has sex because sex is all natural and it comes to play when you want it to come to play. I liked this article, not because of the topic, but because it kind shows how some people wold feel or would want to be in her shoes and would want to elaborate on how they would ask questions towards others such as herself. This also shows how some people are having sex at a young age. Masturbation leads to other necessary habits towards sex and this is what starts it or give people ideas on how you should go about it if you are considering having sex. This also shows that people would not need sex if they are using toys because they are pleasing themselves they know what they want and how they like it.

    Nyles Wortham

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  24. Masturbation can benefit women's sexual life because women know their bodies and can satify without trying so hard. Even though sex with a partner and masturbation are two different things, each one provides something the other one can't. Masturbation--self-pleasing..sex w/other--multiple pleasings..I do not think that masturbation will ruin sex with partners. I think that it will make you a better, more satisfied lover as long as you can communicate your desires to your partner. I do not think that men who masturbate would ever ruin sex for them. I believe that they are two totally different actions and men would get satified both ways. I think women who don't get orgasms just means that they truly don't want to have sex at the time..or else something might be wrong. Overall, I believe masturbation does not ruin sex.
    --Megan Salvatori

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  25. All in all, I don't think that masturbation could actually ruin sex with a partner. I think that Professor Foxy's response made sense in that it could actually help sex with a partner in a long run. Being that we as individuals know our bodies better than anyone else, I think that good communication with a partner could definitely lead to an enhanced sex life. Just as long as you know it is going to be different than masturbation, and take the time to make the necessary adjustments, I don't really see how masturbation could ruin sex with a partner. In response to Dr. Stovall's question, I doubt many people would ever tell a man to stop masturbating because it might ruin sex with others. It seems that our culture sees masturbation by men kind of the norm and looks at masturbation by females in a totally different light.

    -Chad Altfillisch

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  26. how can masturbation be bad? in the case of a woman it lets her explore and find out what she likes and dislikes. once she knows that she can better enjoy sex with a partner, on top of that she get to have some fun while she finds that out!to answer the dr Stovall's question teh the article does not discus weather or not a man is ruined for sex by masturbation because a woman asked the question. As for pro or con on self pleasure im all for it, i think that women that know what they like make the best kind of lovers, where as those that dont are essentially stumbling in the dark

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  27. I think Professor Foxxy makes a good statement by differentiating between masturbation and intercourse...they are indeed two very different actions. I think that it is healthy & normal for both men and women to masturbate, & be familiar with their bodies. Orgasms for women are about more than sexual stimulation, you can enjoy sex without climaxing (although it is the preferred outcome). The brain is a sex organ as well. Without that connection, I think it is more difficult for a woman to reach orgasm. Women & men just think about sex differently. I think it is sad that some women have not experienced an orgasm...maybe they have not had the right lover, not comfortable with their own bodies or sexuality, or have negative feelings/emotions about sex altogether. I don't think that masturbation would ruin sex with actual people, it may enhance it at times. It is a different type of experience, DIY vs. Man Made so to speak.

    Amy Caldwell

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  28. I also think that masturbation does not ruin your sex life. I agree with many of the above comments that mentioned this. I think that by a woman masturbating it allows her to explore her own body and see what she is about. It allows her then, with her man, to let him know what pleasures her. If the woman is unable to communicate with her partner about her own pleasure and feeling then masturbation may be an option on helping her express herself and find out what her body is about.
    Kristine Tume

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  29. I dont think masturbation ruins sex for a partner because then the girl can be prepared for when she encounters intercourse. She will not be "unexperienced" in a sense that she will be ready and knows whats ahead of her. Masturbation benefits the body because in some retrospect it is like exercising. Practice makes perfect!

    -Jason Renacido

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  30. I agree with a lot of the comments before mine about how I never thought of masturbation ruining sex life. Masturbation allows a women to explore her own body and knows what she wants and what she likes sexually. I agree with professor foxy in that masturbation could help an individual in the long run. For example i think that we know our bodies best so we can communicate to our partner and what we like and can lead to a better sex life.

    Taylor Murphy

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  31. I don't think that masturbation will ruin someone's sex life. Masturbation should just be as normal for a female as it is for a male. I also agree with Professor Foxy in that masturbation could help an individual in the long run. If masturbation helps with having a better sex life then if people are open to, they should do it.

    Michele Salvatori

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  32. I don't think that masturbation will ruin anyone's sex life. I agree with Professor Foxy that masturbation will help people out with their sex life. From talking with people they have said that it totally helps out their sex life and if people want to masturbate then that is up to them.

    -Tara Rednour

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  33. I agree with Professor Foxy that masturbation doesnt ruin you sex because i have heard that it makes it better. I have never heard that it will ruin it, and If a man or woman wants to masturbate then thats there choice. People always make crazy assumptions when it comes to things like that.

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  34. According to Prof. Foxxy, women can benefit from masturbation by learning how to better communicate with a sexual partner. Masturbation contrasts with partner sex, masturabtion will seem different than partner sex.
    I have also never heard of masturbation ruining a persons future sex with a partner.
    -Carmen Nunez

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  35. I believe that masturbation for this woman is a must. At least she is getting those emotions out that way. Prof. Foxy said that masturbation will also make partner sex better, I believe this to be true because people are usually more open about their wants and needs plus know what they want through masturbating. I believe it is good for women, man do it, so why can't we? It seems to be frowned upon way too much by the media or people in general.
    Kayla O'Neill

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  36. I believe that masturbation for this woman would make it more open to herself in that it would help communicate with herself of what she wants with her partner. Its basically this womans choice whether to or not so I think its her choice. I dont think it would ever ruin anybody's sex life at all.

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  37. I don't think masturbation will ruin sex with other people, i also think she should have limits, as to how often she does it. And from what i read from Prof. Foxy, masturbation makes you open and it helps you know alot about yourself.

    Sandra Odei

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  38. I agree with many comments above, i do not think masturbation wouldn't ruin a persons sexual experience. If you want to explore with your own body that's your business go for it. It an individuals choice to do what they want. It may be beneficial to get to know your body better for sexual purposes.

    -Alex Figura

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  39. I do not think masturbation ruin people sex experiences with others. I believe it enhance the experience for woman beause they know what turns them on and makes them feel good. Therefore they can communicate with their partner on how to please them. I think that its natural for woman to do it. It help each other understand their bodies better which strengthen their sexual communication. I agree with other that it does not ruin the person sexual life with others- Altagrace Jean-Francois

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  40. I don't think masturbation will ruin you for sex with others. I think that i could possibly benefit you for sex with others because by masturbating you figure out what you like and what feels best to you, so then you will be able to tell your partner. According to Professor Foxy masturbation is different from sex because it feels different with people.

    Meagan savage

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